Der Kontrabass von Patrick Süskind

“Any musician will gladly assure you that an orchestra can do without a conductor at any time, but not without the double bass.” In his soundproof room, a double bassist—no longer young and not exactly gifted—ponders his instrument, his place in the orchestra, and in life. He is a tenured civil servant in the state orchestra, third chair, who only plays during tutti passages. Even the timpani, with its mere four notes, is more important than he is. The nameless musician hates Mozart and Wagner and likes to skip a few notes while playing to get back at the composers or annoy the conductor. What’s the worst that could happen to him? You don’t become a double bassist by choice, he believes. And the instrument, which looks like an old woman with hips too wide, is constantly in the way. “Can you tell me why a man in his mid-thirties—namely me—lives with an instrument that constantly holds him back? Holds him back personally, socially, sexually, and musically?” He is in love with the beautiful, young soprano Sarah. But she goes out with other men who are more talented or influential than he is. But one day, he resolves, he will throw his bow away in the middle of a performance and shout her name.

The double bassist’s monologue—bitter yet extremely humorous—about his love-hate relationship with his instrument and how he drowns his inadequacy and dissatisfaction in beer is a classic by Patrick Süskind from 1981. Since its publication, it has become a frequently performed solo piece on German stages, offering top-notch entertainment and, along the way, many hilarious anecdotes from music history. Axel Vornam directs the one-man show with Oliver Firit on double bass.