HADER ON ICE
"There's always something. Either my feet fall asleep. Or they itch. Then I can't breathe when I walk faster. Or I have a sweating fit. Then I get cold again. The food doesn't taste good, the sex is bland, the pants are too tight. What is that, please? - It must all be climate change, right? Temperatures in summer are like in the tropics! All of a sudden there are these huge insects! They didn't exist before! When they bite you, you get a swelling that doesn't go away for months! They are probably all genetically modified. And the plants! They're already going crazy. They're crazy, those plants! They grow over everything now! Since I never leave the house. My theory is that the plants want to regain control of the planet. They are all connected to each other underground through their roots. Worldwide! The plants have a secret plan. They want the total destruction of the occidental culture and the Austrian folk rock'n'roll. This is all to be replaced by, uh, photosynthesis."
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