To this day, myths and legends surround Elinor's origins.
However, now that several pages from the previously secret diary of Aphrodite have been published by WikiLeaks, the secret is finally 3% solved:
After a debauched symposion on Mount Olympus, the beautiful Aphrodite fell for the even more beautiful and charming Adonis. As a result of this sinful night, Aphrodite gave birth to a beautiful daughter named Elinor.
To avoid causing a scandal on Mount Olympus, Elinor grew up as a protégé of Zeus and Hera without her actual origins ever being discussed.
Even as a child, Elinor was taught dance and entertainment by the Muses and grace and elegance by the Hores.
Until the age of 19, she worked as a messenger of the gods on the famous Olympus Express. Her charming appearance in a slightly transparent robe and her winged, diamond-studded shoes earned Elinor a great deal of admiration and a good tip even back then.
Incidentally, she still maintains a friendship with Hermes to this day - a purely plantonic one, of course.
Nevertheless, Elinor is said to have had numerous love affairs, including with Apollo and Poseidon.
Last year, photos even emerged showing Elinor and Hades at a Hawaiian wedding ceremony on Maui. Whether the two actually got married remains a mystery to this day. Allegedly, Medusa was Elinor's maid of honor.
What is certain, however, is that Elinor wore a dress from Mykonos Gyros.
For those of you who don't know: Mykonos Gyros is the top designer of the Olympic deities and is also the godfather of Hercules.
Elinor was born into the art of divine burlesque. Her talent for frivolity and her boundless lust for life, coupled with an outstanding talent for entertainment, quickly gave her the reputation of the goddess of burlesque.
With her extravagant charisma and the artful games she plays, Elinor is a welcome guest at the festivities of Zeus, Ares and the Halloween celebrations of Hades.
The 13th seat on Mount Olympus was created especially for Elinor when she was accepted into the circle of the Olympian gods at the tender age of 20 and thus attained eternal beauty.
To ensure that Elinor's art of burlesque is not reserved exclusively for the high deities, she regularly travels from Olympus to the human world to seduce them with her burlesque art.
In the human world, Elinor is known as "Miss Elinor Divine - the goddess of burlesque".
Odysseus also fell for the beautiful Miss Elinor Divine. Together they spent several years on a famous cruise ship and traveled to numerous islands and coasts.
Or did you really think that Ulysses did not return home for years as involuntarily as the tabloids would have us believe?
While we're on the subject of the tabloids:
Did you know that a video actually exists showing Miss Elinor Divine at Gaius Julius Caesar's 50th birthday party?
She stands in the middle of the amphitheater and sings "Happy Birthday". But surely you know the cover version by Marilyn Monroe?
Another great headline came about when Miss Elinor Divine was spotted standing lookout as Bonnie and Clyde carried out another of their infamous heists.
Oh, that was trouble on Mount Olympus.
Nevertheless, Miss Elinor Divine is still the goddess of burlesque
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